Wednesday, May 2, 2018

Forced marriages Vs arranged

Lets start of with forced marriages , in 2017 there were 26% of girls under the age of 18  being forced to get married . 34% were aged 18-25 and 20% was male victims. Lets not forget forced marriages isn't just targeted towards women it happens to men too the difference is they don't speak about it. 
Forced marriages isn't just in Muslim families it happens around the world.  Over 10 years ago i was forced to marry a violent man who was my ex because my "muslim" father thought i brought shame to the family. I didn't know what was happening & everything said in a language i didn't understand. I was stuck with this man for years (alot of brainwashing) . If you are Muslim and this is happening to you go to local charities to help you or speak to women in your mosque for advice /imam or even forums. There is plenty support out their please don't suffer in silence. Men please don't be ashamed seek the help you need. The same goes to whatever religon you practice or don't follow. 

It is always so easy to say leave them or why did you stay. So many threats can be said which become a reality. Or you don't want to lose certain people in your family , possible shame. 

If you are stuck in a forced marriage sometimes it can work out due to learning to compromise. But it isn't the way to go forward. Losing apart of yourself for another person ? Why ? .
Forced marriages also happen when family members find out about being gay , disrespecting culture/religon and relationships. 

Arranged marriages are totally different to forced and people still get them muddled up. Arranged marriage is exactly that . When a person wants help from their family or religous centre etc to find a spouse. No force. Some "arranged marriages". Are actually loved marriages where the groom goes to a girls family and asks for marriage. This happens alot now too. 

Only get into marriage if you are 100% sure . Don't be forced into it even if that means running away.
I have met women who have been forced to marry and their children have been killed out of "control" by the dad. 

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